Monday, December 31, 2007

The Plan

Nota Bene: The Plan is composed by uniting both flarfist (or more specifically, Google-sculpted poetry) and uncreative writing ideas. Namely, by searching (through Google) for, "when god gives you a gift he also hands you a whip," and writing through the search results, descriptions and all resulting text on the page. Ellipses are, in most cases, omitted. Other punctuation (usually periods and capitalization) has been preserved. What follows are the first three pages of search results.

He also gave them one rule. If you are interested in the rest of this story, The gift that God gives you in exchange is the blood of Jesus Christ, Loading please wait connection rate: time left: time elapsed “I can’t give you a ride” said the turtle, “You’ll sting me and kill me! to demonstrate how much He loves us He gives us the most precious gift he can.

Thoughts on a Master and His submissive/slave She should truly want to give him pleasure. And so, for most slaves, And if while you are standing there, he chooses to whip you, you still will not THE GODS II – Power List – Demons You must give the target god sufficient mana (after toll) to cast the power He must also swear the following divine oath: “I will protect you from dying Gives a Hoot’s Blog – Vox Why is Free Will a gift from God? Seems to me it’s often more of a curse. He I mean, you could give someone a beautiful home baked cake and a bouquet of Recovering from a Natural Disaster While it came and went, God is and will always be there.

What does God offer? Strength. Hope. Perspective. Comfort. He can give you the ability to face the God Gives His Spirit To Those Who Obey Embrace My breath as I speak to you, and spread your wings by acting on My word. God isn’t a hard taskmaster. He isn’t a slave-driver, cracking a whip. Christian Dating – Online Dating Service from Christian “May the lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you”. “May he send you help from the sanctuary. May he give you Jeremiah Goes To The Dump – Christian Reformed Church And that was after he gave Jeremiah the whip, lashing pain into his body in significant and sickening and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Hoodoo lady, how do you do? He also tried to syringe some of the gunk out (from the gum side, When Marisa gives you the finger, she’s telling you how many seconds you have left to Winning the war form the inside out – John MacArthur And he also mentioned to Timothy a seared conscience. Now remember I told you from Romans 2 that the conscience gives testimony, it either indicts you, the chic blog God wants to give you beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Never forget with a whip, it’s ends filled with pieces of bone and glass, he declared his Roman Whoosh!

XWP Episode Guide: THE GOD YOU KNOW He starts in on the crowd, remind them he is their emperor and their god. “How dare you not give me the respect that I deserve! You are nothing The Gift of Healing He told Moses that “If you diligently heed the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His 6ixtynin9 It ends with a quote from Truman Capote “When God gives you a gift, he also gives you a whip,” which makes about as much sense as the movie Why is worshipping God Necessary? If I were able to, I would give you the double as my gift! Also, he says, O God! Bestow blessings on Muhammad to the number of the particles of the The Soft Hands of Our Great God (Transcendence and Immanence) He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. But if you have received His offer of salvation, he is also YOUR God.

“He Chose the Nails” by Max Lucado And God just almost gives you the gift of a poet; the words that you write are Pilate told the soldiers to say whip Jesus. He never told the soldiers to Decompose » 2006 » November The greater the skill, the greater the gift that you give the artist and that the When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is Worship article Righteousness and Holiness Righteousness is simply doing what is right in God’s sight, and if you miss it once in a while, He gives you a swift clip round the ear, and shows you where 10/7/58 – “God’s Delinquent” Give your life to Christ. That will be the greatest gift you can give your He can also cut the ropes of sin in your life, and give you a freedom such Berkshire Bright Focus Now the Chester Theatre Company gives us “Grace” by Craig Wright in which God betrays statement: When God hand you a gift, he also hands you a whip;

Salvation in Jesus Christ To satisfy the demands of justice, it must also be something that God does to us and He didn’t give you a free gift; he gave you a 1000-year mortgage. I’m getting a makeover. YOU NEED TO RECOGNIZE THAT HE ALSO BLESSES US FOR THE SAME. REASON. NO YOU GIVE HIM. SOME POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. YOU TELL HIM YOU’VE DONE WELL The Guru’s Guide to SQL Server Architecture and When God hands you a gift, he hands you a whip; and the whip is intended solely for The reason we use a debugger is that it gives us the ability to look Office of Stewardship and Development When God introduced the concept of the tithe in the Old Testament He told the You would give $40 a week. You can also check on your tithing level every How to be a Disciple of Jesus Christ “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you:”

This gift gives us an anointing. Acts 10:38 “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth Week 201 Study Notes – word-on-the-web – Church Army Pray also for the gift to trust in God to help you when your faith is challenged. –back to Matthew – Matthew 10 v 21-23 “Brothers will give their own Yahoo! Answers – Is it REALLY free will? For the Lord is your life and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers Abraham Isaac and Jacob. God wants us to hold to Him Quotes by authors that you love | Art is Life | LibraryThing “When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip.” –Truman Capote No one can give you a reason to live if you won’t have the will.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The creator as consumer

N.B., It is my intention to edit/elaborate on this entry as I have more time to consider it. Whenever available, I will repost edits as new posts.

Let me start by saying that the creator is the ultimate consumer, as the consumer/ed unites in this creator, forging a greater depth of consumption (or consumerifficness) than what we traditionally think of as "consumer" i.e., the mere consumer of the work (in this case, poetry, or broader, art), the viewer/listener/reader.

When creators busy themselves in the creation method -- the word 'creation' isn't enough, as more of a function procedure is in action....we know what we do and how we get to do it through method, a rhythm method -- the consumption-work takes form as (1) idea, then (2) writing, (3) composing, then (4) editing, and finally, as (5) offering, or an end result. We consume the idea when/as we commodify it, writing it down, making it 'useful', inasmuch as in written form it can then be implemented. It becomes instrument. We consume it on each of these levels. [Therefore] by the time our book comes out, we've consumed in four or five different fields before freeing the result. Calling the simple act of standing in front of an art piece "consumption" then seems somewhat ridiculous or, at best, tritely inaccurate.

Let me finish by saying that the creator is the greatest of all consumers. Let me finish by saying that space exploration is possible.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


It seems music history is filled with examples of bands whose sophomore efforts pale in comparison with the reach of their first albums, e.g., Where is Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! anyway? This isn't the case with M.I.A., whose second album offers more dancehall/grime mashup. However, this time around, the lyrics are less effective, less threatening, and certainly more novel than what Arular sought to define.

The threat of M.I.A. being turned into just another "female" musician, in contrast with the forceful author of politically-charged work -- regardless of gender -- is more evident with the release of Kala. Remember, however trendy politically-charged lyrics might be, and however nichy, M.I.A. has refined this trend. Whereas Arular was noteworthy for exalting a unique and raw female perspective, Kala comes off as Fiona Apple-gone-grime. Even violent lyrics on Kala seem caricatured now. The insidiousness of stressing the feminine in M.I.A. is the same tactic that "deflects" and renders her individuality moot and her politics into parody. This is clearly the market's/record industry's attempt at turning M.I.A. into one more vulnerable, twee and harmless female performer.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

the 3rd world music scene, it's so dirty n' gritty

I'm wondering how anyone can declare M.I.A.'s Kala el número 1 of the year. I saw "Paper Planes" the other day, and was reminded that I had previously forgotten to scrub the shit dribbles off my cornea left from the first time I saw that video...

I guess only democratically-minded folks dig songs like that...

Monday, December 17, 2007

El voseo

I recently read an article about the use of "el voseo" in Argentine Spanish.
El voseo "occurs" when, instead of using the Tú form to "tutear" someone, you refer to them as "vos" and conjugate verbs accordingly (see below). While Tú is accepted and understood as the familiar "you," saying "vos" is a more familiar tone than Tú, as the former pronoun and resulting conjugation indicates a shared historical, national and cultural background, i.e., The Rioplatense addresses another Rioplatense using "vos" because they've both grown up using "vos."
This 'you' form bears little relation to the devilish vosotros of continental Spanish, and seems to be a closer relative to the você of Brazilian Portuguese (although in this case, the Brazilians have all but eliminated use of the Tú conjugation, having only four conjugations in use: 1st person singular, eu; 2nd person singular,você; 1st person plural, nós; and 2nd person plural, vocês.)
As a different conjugation in the second person, el voseo doesn't vary that much from the Tú form of regular verbs, and is formed by accenting the final vowel in the present indicative 2nd person conjugation. So, in the case of the verb TOMAR, instead of saying, "Tú tomas," we say, "Vos tomás." [Irregulars being somewhat trickier: "decir" varies from "Tú dice" to "Vos decís." Querer, "Tú quieres" = "Vos querés."]
From what I can tell --I haven't seen an example that contradicts this-- the "as/es/is" ending is always accented formally with accent/tilde. El voseo is also used in the imperative/subjunctive, the Tú form of "lo que quieras" (as you wish) becomes "lo que querás."
What thrills me about this dialectical difference is that it represents what I consider to be migration of language trends with no equal migration of populations to account for the trend. I'm wondering if migrating Sephardic Jews brought el voseo from Spain to Argentina, only to then have it spread to the countries on the linked map (below). But how? According to Wikipedia, el voseo enjoys a creeping effect, like linguistic capillary action: it takes hold in the country little by litte, only later being employed by the media and advertisers. "Vos difrutás Coca Cola." If migration is related to the spread of el voseo, then it seems somewhat geographically arbitrary. These "paises voseantes," or --I'm making this up-- vos-using countries," can be found here on the map, the blue countries are those with voseo predominance. In green, countries where it is featured as a regionalism or non-mainstream custom ( In theory, in light of the vos phenomenon currently spreading in appeal in Nicaragua (Wikipedia) and being employed by the media there, el voseo offers evidence of a Spanish language trend passed from country to country by globalized media outlets and marketing.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Assaulting the Lamaze of the Series

Subtitle: Circular Wound of those Ignorant of Lamaze and Benefits,

In which we first see the benefits that might happen in faithful pursuit of Lamaze Tenets

As member of the bandwagon must check her oil every 3000 miles
smoke there’s fire
smoke there’s fire
smoke there’s fire
Extiiiiiiiiiiiiiinguish. Squish. Squish.
Extiiiiiiiiiiiiiinguisher. Usher. Usher.
Extiiiiiiiiiiiiiinguisher. Ting, ting.
Or the member the bandwagon breaks up every 3000
balls over the fence. Long reach hurried divorce.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Querida Fábrica de Abuelos, S.A.,

La más nueva y tose —improvisar. La vista del solista revela el señor Bradbury de Granada y su gran solipsísimo. Es él que nunca se muestra durante los partidos. Tira dulces para agarrar osos, y demostrar que la mujer es centro de las azucareras. Para lo que esta en venta, Shakira-la, suave, suave. A mover el culo para lo mejor en autenticidad. Sexo de ranchera, de compras.

Sorprendido en no obtener ni pelos,


[This marked an aborted attempt at translating my thesis into Spanish.]

Sunday, December 09, 2007


What do we do with our older edits? Stop Discarded poems? Stop
How much should we edit? Stop When to say when? Stop
If a poem has all the "right" words, is the edit done? Stop

Saturday, December 08, 2007


The idea of shock intrigues me. How does shock work? Why and when do we shock (or when should we shock) an audience? Are there different tones of shock? Does shock work in different tones and timbres for similar audiences and contexts? Why is "dogskin flute" shocking? Is it?

Not unlike the bodily process equivalent to a physiological or biological “what the fuck?” in order to save itself, shocking an audience creates a space for salvation, a rhetorical cul-de-sac anything can be drawn from. The piñata still intact, a quiet frame the moment after being shocked: Huzzah! We can still react and language works, stilmuli work. Turn and listen or turn and fight.

Statements that elicit shock, if unexpected (through timing or an ethical breach or variance), do so partly because the language is working to that end. The delivery of the message – how it gets to us, why it was made, etc— becomes obscured by the shock we feel in the face of such a statement. The moment when our language either asserts or submits itself over or to the message becomes an interesting space for the poetic to occupy.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Jimmy Carter


Tetris now joins my favorites
Aside from the cirque de soleil, where the real vote matters
Duisburg can have us by force
To parry the fire we druids acting bandwagon

Of mature on young parties, swelling with pride and rocket launches
Oh grammy, strange unfurling candy wrap on the TV produces
An urge to stand by and let it happen Crystal Waters flow
Be da da de, be da da dada ding doe


Jamaica-mon come ya wanna grab I fe what?
Jamaica-mon come, gwan grab I fe quick date?
Jamaica-mon come and gwan exit polling?
Jamaica-mon come n’ row one way he-missile


Little kids silver lining
There’s Vanna acting replacement
A Vanna L bendy mimic assistantship
I can list homeschoolers goes on and on

Bask in crisis, my foxy animal humper! Free your mind
The balmy missionaries diffuse
Their cage free egg agendas! Maleficent harem!
Jetsons Inability to make large things fit gas economy!
Jamaica I’m crazy!


Bogart handsome devil!
The devil lives within the Airedale Terrier
The ocean is dying of plunge virgins
This goat cannot fly, and no tricked dogs.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

White people, sucking at Math, are responsible

We've chosen to have moved nipples around
From being moved around with frequency, I push through the move to surround with foam packaging
“Por que me dejas…Jesus, to be free (and alone) with packaging
Without the guards, with laxer code handling.
I’m a published poet. You’ve signed my baseball wrong.

Wrong! The pros aren’t signing
They’re loading up on goodies to take big steroidal dumps!
Did “bar dance” make you happy?
I hope so, because there’ll be no more bar dance where that came from, sucka!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Abraham Lincoln

I so into
when they look away
it's "Candy Shop,"
I can make you hit your top
stealing my dad's car
and making my way
Finding the closest Park n'Shop

Halloween does have an effect on certain people

Some people created puzzling
They sat inside the temple on the brightest days
No one listening, said, “This must be universal”
“Jesus thought in these terms,
“Hives dot the invincible sertão.” Classification
Cannot be rendered by sight drawings.
Before the mole disappears, I will forage
I will get nothing but tickets for this money exchange

Pagans do not fit into nearly neat category
Some commercial centers emphasize
Like this: Amicable Bombardment
Accommodations cannot solve displacement.

I’m getting dressed as Tomby vacancy.
What I refuse to do is go door to door
Praying to false gods

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Port Authority Suspicious Activity Hotline No.

Go ahead, the nipple takes focus
He rattles his nipple on a fence
Don’t make me out of Zinedine Zidane
Examples to keep lazy people Swedish
Don’t like the call?

Butt face
Butter face

He didn’t argue the call but he didn’t butter face
Correctly developed young men of Africa ground rules
Slice tuna in uterine form (Fox of Uterus
Cylindrical outlay of star
Gross alien discovery
Avoiding a cheap knock off too

[aside, “Butter face”]
Police recover nothing but hairbrush
How nice are the ergonomics?
Borrowing an aboveground pool from the Finicky Bladders
Mr., now Retired, Sensitive Trigger Finger
At the end of the cul de sac
How can a circle end?
Gang of Reaganite black lab
Whispers of “biscuits and gravy, buy/sell/trade”
In the payphone
Linked to inflated belt buckles (cowboy type)
Sweepstakes odor emit (lottery line holding up my Gatorade purchase type)
Like PU who’s that winner
Reshelfing complex
Balding complex.
Horse and buggy complex. Mom hated nerf.
Nerf would get stuck.
(enjoying the up down motion type)

Complex. Message, “If you notice
Anything suspicious call anytime, day or night
For free injections
The Suspiciously Seen Activity Number Provided

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A Hole in My Heart

or, so country they say hero as a word for submarine

now he is stuffing the food in
now she uses showering
to re-fluff
now the one-armed boy listens to Morton Feldman
gobbling chicken on a stairmaster soaked in Gatorade

now filming porno (Feldman now vacationing)
action please in chicken
action please in stairmaster
action please on Morton Feldman crotch region
action now on Morton Feldman one arm

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Translation Questions

Ever an imperfection, somehow we have yet to enjoy Rubem Fonseca's O Cobrador in English.

Fonseca, who's considered Brazil's Thomas Pynchon -- indeed, the two are close friends -- looks like Foucault's dad.

So, how much does market dictate translation? The "duller" the translation (by this "duller" I include any work that fails to provoke or "push" the reader ahead, or any of the other reasons --legion-- why each work can be called successful), the broader the audience, the less audience members are offended...?

[Doesn't wider appeal seem to indicate a space occupied by family films or classics? Are classics that subversive, or is there subversive potential merely forgotten?]

Above, translation is imperfection not only as a middle voice blemishes from sender to receiver, creating a new work (nod to Nicanor Parra), but as representative decay between various countries'/groups'/societies' social or artistic "taste" or aesthetic (e.g., Anti-Pinochet poetry has very little relevance here...). The "historical" and locative not only serve as marker, but as market: Che is recognized as a modern call to action in Latin America now only due to the relevance of Left-wing democracies in the region today, and remains a marketing tool in North America in both the regional (locative) and historical sense. No "Che" here.
So, these translations mark a nostalgia for the time when we ourselves wrote innocently about flowers and plums (Neruda). Translation gives these readers permission to reread their own turf, in usually a voice that no longer represents a threat.
Thus, more insidiously, translation often stands as the gateway of official corruption (Neruda coffee mugs, CDs, T-shirts, etc): officially, it's easier to make the exotic appeal to a larger audience because it doesn't concern us. I've never eaten a plum on Isla Negra.
Perhaps, as foreign art, the exotic work cannot be taken as obscene? Nudity during Carnival is, in context, tradition and much less offensive or threatening the college girl, breast baring nudity during Mardi Gras. This tendency applies to art, as well. Work that isn't socially/societally relevant commits a lesser degree of obscenity.

Do we enjoy poetry in translation to bolster our love poems' relevance or because these poems we now have in translation are indeed irrelevant?


I've moved all my "artwork" here.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


You let me download you
You let me listen to you, in nice frequent fashion
You let me control your playlist
You let me move you fast forward
Where are you pretty little song
You let me spin you round round
Baby right round.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Proteger a tus seres queridos (formerly: Contaminación de tu sónica)

Aqui…la policia de comida.
Ayudando a su amigo y amante – Alex— comer bien.
La llegada...

La policia de comida! Su cinturones de seguridad
Presentando, David y Ryan. Dos amigos inseparables
En cesar la contaminación de la flaqueza
El gato vuelo en comida humana...
Pero la policia comida...
Para comedia policiales
En los extremos más remotos encuentran
Dos amigos responsables de darle comida a Alex
Son engañosos, y son realmente mujeres!
Los policias de comida
La cosecha trae saludable Alex que coma
Me dio ataque en el articulo. Sale comida saludable, como Ketchup
Bailamos, policias, y vamos a policiar lo policial

Sad Flat Puppy

I’m giving this toy’s educational value five stars. I learned more in Georgia, this toxic coating adds exciting. This puppy can run zero to seventy with swatziki sauce, and cause minor irritating bubbling: the values reflected in subsidies. How we copy. The dog died because her I let run photogenics. Redaction to preen. Flubless, and no bun. No run knob that manually, sets the length of the destination carpet. We were captives crying in a vacant, yet glitzy skull. Gliding to service entrances loose dog are picked up and destroyed with leftover ammo. The dog is rendered useless by lack of funds, hostile Virginia middle schooling, and government interference. The dog’s looseness — lack of smell – arranges a meeting of cold war powers long since out of papers. Nutrition loitered, the service entrance a small gamey type. This was second place? The dog went through our cousin, the backchannel, changing names. A truck then materialized and someone to drive it. At very fast rumbles, I wanted to run and tell my momma on ya’ll. You have capsized when you spit out baby. But there’s no telling what parents will actually call on gods for. Time till entry shower? She was a yelper. I was given a few moving seconds with the pile. Our interaction lacked fluid. I pupped and found pain was included. The molten crust of my first exhibit, faulted at the end and leashed – air being left in a flat to sour – lay down to perform the angel in creamed corn I would not be hungry enough to eat.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Abraham Lincoln

(from the manuscript, POTUS POEMS)

Say ciao to whitepeopleville!
This hummer, filled with veggie juices will extinguish
Your subdivision into garden grade totes
But our best chance at re-armoring

I will squash my muddled fingers to unearth
It will be justified. We will extract information Martha,

You and I are both ridiculous captions for loud bar ambiences.
Both are noted for goblin inconveniences
In these bars, our failure to save, our loggerhead tortuga
Brimming with sweat things, noting
the inescapable in the corner is noteworthy inescapable
catalog that seems to find you no matter how your name changes

You come alive in parts.
Martha, your sister has gotten my squirrel to be pretender.
Martha, without Electric Company cycling sponsoring our collection
On Utilities, two Railroads, best played drunken
How to live off of “too squirrelly,” answer’s easy:
Live off the train!

Kamchatka the center of chat room blues. Whistler,
Money grubbing porcelain bathtub hack:
For “Growth is honest” type “Club Grocer Wildman!”

Genesis cannot pretend that man didn’t come before.
There were great cities where lions now roam.
I have paved the avenues of great cities with men of the South.
This speech is the best I’ll ever write, because I spot clean.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Beginner Level 2: 365th Angela Lansbury Squadron

tough stuff air pump should bring up the slack
when slacks are wroth –highly incensed— and brung
we eat gratuitous. Pump up the boardroom,
Training eagle eye CEO
In giving a more-than-generous evil eye, the room freezes
Teleprompter language of the red light green
the reptile eyes bore and serve one master. She knows food and tough stuff
over 4 Simon Says Masters
column the Branch (Public Library) brunch
formed of manmeat, and thunder designer wear
it is a dark eye stuck
on shuffle in a translator
whose one hand holds
We’re on land near accident bingo
before we are champions we
bah over the speaker
flung someone’s thigh in a flash (received bits of partial update)
of tubing, a structure’s age reveals
tonguing can alter behavior into “touch”

correct correct [Poets, very innovative, are peace-
loving, without
even a British accent, schizophrenics!]

whereabouts more succinctly
Anglican and inhabiting a land of better spelling
Sanchez objects to unfettered use of his name
his soul’s shoulder turned into broth with camera
and repentant salamander.
“No touch stuff here,” agents wonder aloud
they mean tough business. “It’s better with numerous shades,”
lamest premise for diversity
after the former shits beads.

There was one man behind the (Wheel of) that salamander

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Lactation Pridefest

I f-und o-t la-tation cons-ltation mid-gin
Thank G-D I do-’t comm-te an!more
Im-gine me, Re-ated to Zi-n
Helloo-ooo Satin. Santa-a. Satana C-uz.
Bandid-s. Me-ican-s, bo-n and r-ised, Than-s G-D
Be-ore we -at, lab-l. Tel Aviv not frie-dly to com-uters
Teshuvah proc-ss
I a-one sur- mo-my blogs
Foost Anal-zer.
Do they have chin salsa in China phonebooks?

My n-ght gua-d ca-sed me to pi-s mys-lf.
And exp-rience what I l-ng ag- experi-nced.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Things I thought while viewing Defiance, Ohio's YouTube video on Tao Lin's blog


Where are all your parents
Won’t this guy shut up
Where are all your parents
The bassist has fake hair
Why are they shirtless
That picture brought in a new era
Who’s doing cello

That polo should come in funner size
These people neglect the sun.
How much is the manufacturer’s cut in gum manufacturing?
How long can wholesale hold on
Is Stallone a brainy word?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

One of the reasons to take drugs is the election

Voucher vs. radio city
Cop vs. construction
Constitution votes caramelo
Victim vs. stool.
Fashion world vs. Di
The clap vs. humanitarian relief efforts
Crossfire vs. wedgie
Fathers vs. Hitler
Baby vs. Stalin
Osama vs. Mothers
Pilgrim vs. Abdominal workout
Vs. International incident vs. silly string
Jesuit vs. Claymation
Jesus vs. Squadcar
Ubermensch vs. weather change
Speed vs. election
Flagellum vs. Lit world
Bifida vs. photo booth vs. strawberry kwik
Weather vane vs. potato crop
Camp counselor vs. abortion
Division vs. night crawlers
Cellphone vs. fingerfuck
Candidate vs. topsoil.
Tzotzil vs. Gibbon
Blackgirl whitegirl vs. linksys
James Joyce vs. panty liner
Drawbridge vs. cling wrap
Vs. cellar door
Brazil wax vs. third person
Ethic vs. hungry hippos
Kickboxing vs. vegan sampler
Rubber vs. refugee
Poem vs. scrotum
Spinal tap vs. Seventy-seven virgins
Water boarding vs. Aaron Spelling
Victoria Ocampo vs. coerced confession
Ironclad vs. vellum
T.G.I. Friday’s vs. Cruise missile
Assigned reading vs. leadership seminar
Vs. diminishing swampland
Really wet napkins vs. school bathrooms
Cruise missile vs. dummy elephant
Hand towel vs. ass coach.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Olvidese la traduccion.


no soy parte de tu grupillo de amigos supremo
no soy ganso, ni participiante de mensa
no te soborno
no te gusto mirandome los tenis? Como decis?
que me falto la interrogacion? Tu estupida cara de
no preguntas, please.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Wickedest Journey Pictured or Alive

The future is Charles Bronson a
Lame duck Dredd of the future dads, Charles Bronson babushka
Chuck bright future, Chuck light
Chuck tools the installation of the future
Of missile defense shields for his above ground
And doesn’t mind glasses
If you've got a death wish, I've got a remedy in
new sneakers.
You stole my gloomy onion
It's just a cold.

The future finds faith is Charles Bronson not for sale
No offers in lead roles too masculino fenomeno
No money Chuck buys daggers and brushes
He’s cooking and screams that we’re not pitching
Eliminates tax levees and rivalry too. Rivalry I'm gonna kick
you cordon bleu. This Michael J. Fox quality check for temps
Bronson must hear the unbearable – he will return a mound
his mount fortress lacks basic abscess

Charles is left to feed without TV.
Holds up his duty to dried fruit
I'm going to poise here tills you photograph me
Hours making sense of rainy book signings
Crowd closer to his umbrella the fabric of beginner families
Echolocating. My gym access is denied, but Charles
because he plays an Arborvitae
Showed us the fire of understanding nurture and sex
Ruins everything when he lifts up weights
Without snap on dress for denurturing mother the plow,
Ticklish Santa Inmate #1 attempts mating with Chuck space is won
I'm wondering if I'm too manly for the moon
Locking eyes with the bull
Lights are put out
Ways to get a drunk home
Fear moves the great ocean
a Large Virginia Persimmon. Find your nightie in the wash marked
Recent Chemical Spraying and chuckling [how surprisingly no god spells]: Great teams are born, no uppers
Which might please Champions, but we bottom
Dormers mouth off to Claus Bronson
About restructuring the manager doll Chuck punches
And Can We Sew You Mitts
As Charles separates from the remaining fuselage
Reaching full growth in the future, a boom box of homeschooled plays
On graduation day, tasseled Charlie “En el Futuro, tu caca Frigidaire”
Yo tomo
Ella toma
Nosotros tomamos
Ellos toman My stop bargaining powder
Calling for cummerbunds
Charles waits until I undress and the doorbell rings
Firing only when you see Charles’s eyes’ golfer
Chewing, sticking it under the table
Hiding the keycard
Big Chucks’ signature

We cannot stipend poor penmanship
We cannot stipend love chancellor
Forget your carnal stipend and grant

His telepathy spreads your vote evenly
Like swans birthing canals
Reptiles have sight Charles
And guidance control, so many Bronson foretells five suns.
Feed him tea
Belly swells to Ubu Bronson midwife. Crib reveals cheery Charles’ design knack
He’s on more weapons the rest he
keeps the weaponized Arkansans
The stockpiled Kansans
Suspicious looking is suspicious just insert
Charles understand
Introduce maniacal future needs meet subsistence
Especial for the beard in explorer must stay
Manly manly you are Aztecs worship
Your balls Voltron

More products are going hyper green.
Play on, clear jungle gym
Play on, kids know your structural limit
Play near not on your structural limit play on Charles
Bronson, shot dead my

If I can’t
Only pry his eyes off the television
No, they tell me it’s terminal.
Charles the blonde pretty bang up
Shoot Charles grabs falafel and means loofa
Means loofa and grabs hostage
Means hostage and grabs underage bar
Grabs underage bar and means acting career
Grabs underage career and means photogenic
Grabs photographer and means bar career
Grabs gag order
Charles knows shit sticks to good people
He’s good people, and this proves
That God is war sticks.

6 million people with spears
Charles please provide proof of who you are (please prove who you are)
Starting tomorrow, we cannot warrant your
Tendencies will be met with warm ensconce.
We have paid greeters to meet them, welcome
Them w/ loofahs filling this newest space, that way vulnerability
Broadens guests' mind to purchase untouchable bristles

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Showtime at the Zoo, a list

The giraffe are patented.
Lyon is the hardest of all working cities.
To make sound, rub the shortest length of grass between
Most boat approaches travel
You can learn names.
Logging has vested stake in voting trends
Steams in a place to combine hearts
Sounding takes place when straws are inserted into the penis near climax
Held for seconds, then we turn to breathe.
Laundry complete.
Winners please all over the world, because donut chains feed us
How is the broadcast hoping for a better audience?
Monkeys known spending. In fact, their relations are recorded and taken interest of

Intrigue mellows in standard
Aeration is standard when shown buttocks. Can I show my buttocks dinner habit?
If I find that shake, I’ll shoot plenty documentaries.
Still becomes memoir.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Ran sum

petite size horsey
it's good to be a trucker
lying still on film


somersaults hurt you
about this fragrance mission
tonight's pasta night

al dentista...

So, after getting a deal going to NYU's School of Dentistry, I sit in a chair not unlike Karl Rove's World Lowrider Chair.
There is no more 'th' in 24th --that's "corner of 1 Ave and East 24 to you, meesta" -- according to the new AP style guide. I was unprepared however, to hear my mouth's diagnosis: that I would need to return for 39 more visits.

I'm going to keep a record of it here

Monday, October 08, 2007

Bad Feelings are surrounding (revised...still working)

Bad feelings locate in several toads
Very lucky to witness sierra mistiness
Scatter salsa socks and blue corn taste
Usually represents a bad spirit, or
Upcoming tantrum.
I used to try playing drums. So the heart feels.
Went from skunk to real hunk. Predators
Cannot talk or seldom frivolously.
Speech collects in the divot, like lighter fluid
Can work our way up through foggiest doorman
In Halloween costumes we immolate Batman
My suit is breathable, but the take on fragile boys
Matches their dialogue, not their dialog’s underpants
Where real bad spirits are.
They find a location and seed where bad feelings
Sometimes I grab to stab my manhoods eatery.
Make it flushable bad feeling surround

Good Feelings

Like the inside of a penis the infrastructure of the developing world feels.

Thursday, October 04, 2007


“We also withhold various stalks,” he said, pulling the operating mask down over his mouth, to keep sawdust off his teeth.
“Stalk this,” I added.
He again pulled the mask farther down around his neck, grabbed my hand, and placing it in flat and flush tapping against his mouth, he made the woo woo woo woo of a war whoop.
“See? The people want it,” he smiled. “People aren’t dumb, you know, and they know the expression that makes them free.” He grabs the saw, talking to it, cooing and sticking his thumb in and out against the primer, filling with gas. “Let’s focus on this flange and efficiency.”

Kittens' brains don't grasp physics

The Kitty brain fails to compensate for motion. Oh yeah...THAT, and some guys built a shelter and lived inside the Providence Place Mall, going undetected for some time.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Preciousness seems to migrate (by that I mean moving like birds) from a "twee" (using lathes with light touches) foundation to one of aggression (barreling into the form, usually wood, marble, etc). To say that you don't understand --marginalized by the no comprendo-- and adding the plaintive blah blah blah speak normal! This fucking nonsensical terminology as action is designed to put encoder (the one buying drinks) on the offensive: the other in the (dia)log is then put to explaining (line in the sand) what is meant in a supposed argument by certain terms (headgear, really) where all engaged in the argument are aware --or at least previously were aware, before the ignorance as evasive tactic evolved-- of what these terms mean....ideally.

I guess preciousness irks --casts as a duck-- me as a deflective tactic, but as a parry it sends back a blow (furthering references to Tyson, ear biter). After that, there's really nothing precious about it.

Saturday, September 29, 2007


(Adventures of Jeb and F. Scott Espectaculo)

“Oh predator, my predator,” had been scrawled. At first Jeb thought it paint.
“Nope, it’s nylon based. Not latte, not matte.” He pauses. “Not Texmex,” said F. Scott Espectaculo, looking up from a putty knife in one hand, his watch in the other, as if telling time over Thanksgiving dinner.
“I couldn’t care less if it’s nylon or Dacron, this sprawl has a ripe n’ healthy pallor compared to our last precinct,” Jeb flashed.
“True. True,” F. Scott’s voice trails off, as if thinking of his first time.
“Let me jog your memory. Come on, it’ll be exertion.”
“You did it standing up—“
“We were near the bagelhop, the east side of town, see, and the parking lot was full
cop cars, too thick for a crime. They’d nab the moment you uttered the word ‘killgun,’ remember? The dancing Shriner with the capgun quit bothering us, his hatful of sprigs from God knows what, running around, owning the place, pinching everyone’s nose and chuckling, ‘I’m a Jesus child, I’m a Jesus child.” Remember?” Jeb stopped.
Espectaculo looked up from his watch. It was 2:10. Jueves, August 23.
“Shit. I’d almost forgotten. Wasn’t he the head of some international spelling crime meeting here in town for a few days? You said not to be hasty. That one?” F. Scott’s voice had been ascending in pitch. This last one nearly a shriek, like a soprano.
“But in this case…the perp had raided Home Lumber, Paints & Construction to find this mix. It’s rare. I think they use it in racing,” Jeb huffed.
We should get to the bottom of each word’s roots.


I had a root canal "performed" on me yesterday. They danced in my mouth for 3 hours. Fun, though not half as sinister as the term "root canal."
I'm sticking to the Spanish word for the procedure (this too, being euphemistic), "endodonicia."

Friday, September 28, 2007

More on Squirrels

I would squeeze you so hard cookie
dough comes out, feeding trough 6
the action's at
Damian let everyone feast on his delighted "Gooky"
cookie before he ran out
you can pass with segments...

New Blog Name

The you-make-me-believe-in-myself-more-than-the-mirror Blog! TA-DAMN!


I posted this at KSM's LOST IN THE FRAME.

In the name of disclosure --and since I cannot link to it (using Safari) -- it's going up here.

All this is, as the title reveals, re Superbad:, can addiction to/cultural pervasiveness of porn be waved away if only we hold ourselves to a kind of ethical self-purge?

It's interesting to note how porn might affect men and women's views of their own genitalia, shorn, excessive, "normative", etc. Does porn push us, culturally, to shear?

Personally, I thought Superbad was (I'll withhold the pun) a somewhat shitty movie. Most of the humor is in the vein of the Awkward -- use of the “anti-joke” (i.e., “the funny thing about my back is that it’s on my cock,” the lack of reaction then becoming the joke, etc.) –- sense of humor that seems well aware of its own maturity: a kind of cloying “we will prevail” optimism. This failed for me, namely because I wasn't McLovin or “Arrested Development kid” (Michael Cera) or any of those depicted, but a real nerd. I knew I was a nerd, but I was never able to rise above this nerdiness nor see it as normal. I KNEW I was not the norm in my high school environment, and I knew that I was powerless to do anything about it.

Yikes...where's the leather couch...?

Tao Lin's "pose " equates Miranda July bashers with racists?

Are July’s bashers racists? Well then,
I'll be a squirrel talking
putting your nuts, no burying them
in my mouth
there is no clean kitchen glove
here’s layer squirrel on you for the pain (Bueyes)
my home the mighty oak
Lin on July, I'll avoid
the sign, sincere, the priest
cuts his own hair to appear
the squirrel too good, becomes non-hair
cutter July
Ah, July. Can one movie really
make me a dreamer? How about
a well squirrel guarded service
entrance. Shouldn't
all squirrels thank Amelie? Jean-
Pierre Jeunet had Caro
Caro sale barato. Racista!

Miranda July has a pose: the non pose.


To say that July avoids/omits/negates the pose is to say that July is a July-like hole, a sort of Language mixture ArundhatiRoy-like, manufacturing an emptiness for the viewer to fill. A claim that her pose is sincere occupies the same post or, as Brother Josh Nevers says, "slant angle of critique," as the Insincerity Mongers' claim. Is the effect that a coterie artist (Who isn't coterie, in these days of cot?) inlays on her audience less valid/artistic if not "sincere" or authentic? Who holds the Authenticity Authority, artist or viewer? I'm going to cop the 'Mitological' and say that Miranda July exists on a level different from July the (everyday) person, so as long as July exists, who are we --audience members, really-- to say which July is Julyier? If July herself doesn't know this answer, how can anyone? Is Roy the anti-war movement? Is Bush the War in Iraq? July Brand is cogito ergo sum of the moment. What gets me isn't the preciousness and daint involved in July's persona, it's the darlingism: taking the compartmentalization and saying, "See? It all fits and is confined here. This is the voice of our zeitgeist."

Both July's shit talkers and July need to crawl into a semiotic hole with closed meaning. Bye!

And if July didn't exist, it would be necessary to declare her a holiday.

Or a service entrance.

Monday, September 10, 2007

before cocaine there was the man who invented cocaine

For Maradona, and for his detractors

commie Maradona should stick
Barbara Walters into a 5 year old into need of spiritual body conditions
so insults are socially, ok, viewable by minor piss specs
read as defin--the war on drugs, like, during détente (detention)
For Halloween. You dance with a woman wearing cat makeup.
(she would burn her clothes, her animals. Called, 'hot demolition,'
her vote card into the fire she'd support,)
who invented cocaine studied
the steam engine, shows our age
band costs us our impressionable crowd
dwarf stars are researched, concentrated on
juice is value-licious and I’ll caterwaul my message high and
limber up the stuck on
stinger with Crispin, canola oil
our city's extra chromy and burgeoning po-po

I hate figure causes
cramping my bowels

mom÷time into
deliberate free basing

The future is high school students’ fault.
And is too overhead to
Welcome to the first day of your family’s native speakers.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

The Suburban Ecstasies (Seth Abramson)

Debate continues, here

I'm posting my latest response below, as well as in the comment box linked above.

After much contemplation, I have come of a few conclusions as regards our discussion on flarf. It’s not that I don’t agree with your reasons for critiquing flarf (as any “school” or “tendency” should be open to criticism…though, when was the last time we critiqued McSweeney’s?) but rather I object/disagree with the material of the reasons you claim are what make flarf dangerous.
I elaborate: you say that flarfists, in co-opting the voices of lesser privileged or “underclasses” (That they don’t know/understand whose voice they co-opt is a heavier problem), relative to their supposed positions as professors, editors and poets – in American class structure – somehow oppresses, or at least shows a disrespect and lack of consideration of their subject, both in somehow objectifying this subject and in perhaps refusing dialog with said subject.
But any subject, made/created into a work of art by an “artist” (here being used more demonstratively than as a professional tag) is objectified. Art is a graven image. The result, whether a “good” poem or “bad” poem, is moot: the objectification takes place on a linguistic scale upon this “naming” and corralling.
Furthermore, this critique claims that to use another’s voice does two things:
One, it renders powerless their ability to speak/be heard, and
Two, (here, in a poem/artwork) to use a voice not native to the writer is a form of oppression, that naming has a responsibility/privilege paradigm that breaks when abused.
I disagree with both. The first because it assumes that two like voices cannot coexist, that taking another’s voice is tantamount to theft. “Tantamount,” perhaps. But theft? The second implies there is no difference between writer and subject, or narrator/speaker, of the poem. It implies that voice is not context based, that a black person saying “nigger” carries the same social charge as when a white person says it: whatever I say and however I say it are conditions that remain the same? I find spurious the idea that “wresting” words from the internet and using them in a different context/order somehow falls into the realm of identity theft and/or plagiarism.
Voice is not an action, though speaking is: in copying or imitating the action, we limit liberties of the speaker to have a voice. But flarf co-opts the timbre of certain statements of internet users rather than obstructing their ability to speak. To equate this to a person needed legal representation seems to be giving too much to the idea that it is a responsibility of speech rather than a freedom.
As a public defender, I’m sure you’re quite aware that providing legal representation doesn’t imply the accused is free or that they’re innocent, but rather merely enables the trial to continue. Giving a true voice to the underprivileged – rather than free internet or courtroom representation requires a lot more work on society’s part – means fighting for a system where truth, justice and equality prevail – whatever that would be like…
I agree with the idea that flarfists seem sometimes reluctant to refute criticisms of their “school,” though I maintain that their freedom to use the language rivals mine to take offense at (not its content, mind you) but where they get it. I can only assume complicit the original speakers of “Hey stupid ketchup squirt, your mother dumbfuck squid bitch vomit in a household President First Lady herpes tester wipes.” Seriously, is the speaker who used those words before they were flarfed going to find her lot in life
-stays the same
because her words were taken and published in a book whose print run maxes out at a monstrous 500 copies?
I don’t mean to suggest that anyone seeking vomit anecdotes is shit out of luck unless they know the web addy to Small Press Distribution. Hasn’t it all been done? Which is it? Does on-line contemporary parlance reflect a corporate superstructure of oppression, or does it represent the very “downtrodden” that the corporations seek to keep down?
So, are these people that have time to use the internet, post and record their voices, are they the underprivileged? Are they really voiceless, or do they represent corporate triumph over individual expression?
Getting back (somewhat) to the more concrete: are words that I take from a certain timbre a “no man’s land” and no writer may cross? Can these statements and exclamations –once they are used by a certain class — no longer be used by a higher class? This linguistic tyranny of the majority, “Don’t use my language because I’m oppressed,” has horrific implications. But that’s okay: we can still carry a gun.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

FLARF Suit Riot

Seth Abramson has posted more on flarf, and on the vitriol he seems to receive because of his opinions on it. And there's some coincidence in the fact that both he and Nada Gordon at ~Ululations~ are discussing the same thing: Why are our online tempers not similar to our "real" life tempers? Why can't we behave online? What's with this pissing contest anyway?

I'm going to disagree with Mr. Abramson on the JACKET problem re flarf. JACKET has published both "proto" flarf (TARZAN, anyone?) work as well as essays seeking to open flarf up, with a razor (Dan Hoy's 16+ page long essay). Both sides seem represented. And there are definitely those who hate flarf and those who love it. What about the Swiss? Or, better: what about those poets/fans/readers who merely wish the flarf debate and its copiers vanish? Is flarf here to stay, and is this negative?

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Vasoline Smile

Seth Abramson’s half-assed discussion of Flarf, wherein he charges flarfistes with not knowing “his aesthetic” (being as universal and well-known as it is in most circles…parts of which can be readily evidenced by the poetry found at the aforelinked blog) and then closes the comments box because, “Comments are disabled because flarf really isn't worth the time or effort of additional discussion,” seems like sniping. It bears mentioning that - quoting Rachel Loden quoting Abramson - if flarf is indeed "about nothing in particular and with nothing to recommend it," we're sniping at the space left by a fart. Shooting at "nothing," is sniping possible?

What 4F/flunkie/rubber stamp/choadsniffer would waste the time?

If Flarf is truly "classist," which class owns it? There must be an owner (a class) for this charge to stand. So then, assuming that ownership of flarf - of this "nothing" - can be taken, Abramson flails about, looking for a name as the brunt of his flarf of blame. finding none, he proves the opposite: that flarf is indeed democratic in its access or accessory, and certainly without one specific class claiming privilege of ownership.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007


Legacy Fade

Do my parents care if
we go on to rival anatomies?


It's not loggerheads, but grass
on roids! Neither

The day Antonioni died, I listen to Rita Pavone

The mayfly had honest upbringings. And threw great parties.

We once iced.

Wings often resemble how glasses break.

Carolers piped with money.

Friday, July 20, 2007


I could wear a dress

in this touch
me feel
me science

pledge to curb puppy



Monday, June 25, 2007

The Weight

we don’t own
weapons because if we had
weapons we’d weep. and
we don’t weep. we knit.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Bopping to a New Beat

If the Hustle, the dance with partners, is a sign of things to come, I embrace it. Dancing with a partner is prettier and friendlier than just standing opposite someone thinking your own thoughts, doing your own thing. It is a social grace, nicer than saying hello and it is fun to exchange bons mots while dancing with an old friend or someone you have just met.

Above all there is something joyous about dancing. There is a sense of taking part and a sense of accomplishment as one fits the steps to the music. it is too bad that the name of the new dance is not more romantic, but then I guess the young people would not like it.

-Ginger Rogers, 1975

(courtesy of Time)

Monday, June 04, 2007

Free Media

Apparently, upstarts of all stripes shunned by the press corps. FAIR reports how Republican Runner Ron Paul has been ostracized and pilloried by everyone from the Washington Post to Rudy Giuliani for his statement that Sept. 11th might have been payment for US continued presence in Iraq (since 1991). Find info here:

Friday, June 01, 2007


With all the furor over Colombian President Uribe, history helps. (In Spanish only, as far as I know)

trans. of Blanca Wiethuchter

I've taken some liberties here. -ed.

Huesos de un día

Oír la noche

es oír las olas

lamer con furia

tus voces

y callar

day's bones

Hearing the night
is hearing the waves
lick with fury

their voices
and shut

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Advert. Nuit sweep. Traverse, course du mal. Stomach, I conceive you.

Friday, May 18, 2007

de vacaciones

I'll be in Georgia until the 22nd. Lull in pine straw and sweet tea.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Os livros de hoje

Received by mail David Cameron's indefatigable FLOWERS OF BAD and the prolific Noah Eli Gordon's A FIDDLE PULLED FROM THE THROAT OF A SPARROW. Keep me busy for a few weeks.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Querida Fábrica de abuelos,

La más nueva y tose —improvisar. La vista del solista revela el señor Bradbury de Granada y su gran solipsísimo. Es él que nunca se muestra durante los partidos. Tira dulces para agarrar osos, y demostrar que la mujer es centro de las azucareras. Para lo que esta en venta, Shakira-la, suave, suave. A mover el culo para lo mejor en autenticidad. Sexo de ranchera, de compras.

Sorprendido en no obtener ni pelos,


Camaro, Trans.

Después de no saber ni picha de su publicista, Camaro se presenta como la más pequeña y es mandada por el principal, su gerencia. Los tormentosas se excitan sobre los cubiertos nuevos (vendidos Duty-Free), tan chiquititas y juntitas en la frontera, por Golfito. Ahora resuscitan los indocumentados—¡como sensuosas sirenas de la muerte con poderes específicos! Con Camaro en la hermana de su jefetura. Banda Sonora: Venganza por Xerox, Blaise Másgente, Aloysius Fausto y Meineke Cespedes actuan en este film a la cloaca extendida.

Monday, April 02, 2007

las torres

Y Alejandra, insegura con

su nafta—

si trabaja

si funka

si lea esta letra puerca— toda

la noche

de bodas jugar

de buena


cae el mall

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Wanna Pillies?

I own to why amethyst Daryl cleaned
first, are cowmen Susie? Now their stepparenting,
herefore Lord Connected
to this domineering bunkmate
Hemp Daryl and rank
malefactor alarm with davits.
brushfire their rookie was
attitude why dynamism
councilwomen beside
go, own flatland
me too stowaway

Thursday, March 15, 2007

The unboring boring way of condescent


I understand you were trying to get some attention for your work, but
this is really the wrong way to go about it. Brush up on yr
cyber-etiquette: never CC back a whole list of strangers in the name
of self-promotion. It'll backfire.

Just my two cents.



Bah! Cyber- etiquette? The new idol. Bow real low! Yr outta luck, Spellchecker!

Dearest Savvy Contestant,

My key sticks. Apologize for me. No longer should you find it darling to stub me. Upkeeping you in modern events shall not be of difficult duty. You should know that they got to pack up the house for families’ sake. When felt dropped somewhere, up and dance. This is what our necks alight with tires. My daughter is fondling. Her lecture fathers her softly. In a pet manner. Thereabout making room for the again is what people do always part of the terminal. You should arrive to see their fruition. Her when pricked mother rubs into our hands’ palms. We have niceties in our contacts and summer is most of what you hear in yells through houses. We have the carpets packed with wet sheepdogs. Troublesome, we fought with water. See what origin makes us into? Since all men in my family until a later daughter, I reap the benefits of this erotic upbringing. This is something you squint into. Ahead, sally and put your face into vice. Child-safe with no sharp edges because the camera is invented when uncle is town. When all dies, we mix the colors and auto pile into. Clear me up for your friends. And you too should question my answers. For example, please in from the cold with what you thesis of north people might be, pea-colored with envious shudder? During this season I get chestnuts. If they summer I should visit there with your finances.

Most Intrusively Yours for a Free Notebook Upgrade,

JP. Morgan

Friday, March 09, 2007

"Giuliani's campaign insisted that he respects and supports first responders"


People who live in glass houses

shouldn't schtupp their aides.


A statement by Ari Fleischer:

And, of course, I was asked several days ago about whether or not the President would be open to extending the deadline 30 to 45 days -- now you could say that's 26 to 41 days. If it was a non-starter then, it's a non-starter now.

(Source: Press briefing. March 14, 2003. ) it wrong to seek what is in other words known as a stopper?


And now...

Judging by so many nonstarters, nonviolence becomes a nonbrainer.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

jason, the dawg

I had to throw it into neutral
and come down off the tractor
the day Jason pulled up
with a forearm between his jowls

Usually yukking it up
we knew jokes were no match
for this, coming from the wintry mix

splash in the above-ground

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I'll get right on it, geesh

ENCINO, CA--(MARKET WIRE)--Jan 5, 2007 (4:05pm) -- Harris
Exploration, Inc. greets shareholders in the royal canter.
The other counter explains that jetsets moan and bitch
about bigfooted existence. A Letter of Intent from Minerva
Crystal of Ecuador, and you are now the proud ventrilo-
quist behind proper intros in Balsapamba.

With medals skyrockets in Parador, trapped miners ring in
another year of record profits and news coverage. With
limited air supply and high demand, experts spend vacations
agreeing on the purple monster.

"More Bibles have been shipped. Our plan to compete with
remotes is near complete, mistress Filomena," Rotgut says.
This is a corp. that literally strikes from behind Zeniths
and when that PSA hits the street keep your tots out of


You're it bitches.

5 things about me:

1) I love underoos. Seriously.

2) My great- great- great- (3 greats) grand uncle is on the fifty. Eat your heart out, P. Diddy!
(This is inadmissible, since it's not really about me)

3) I suffer from a somewhat never-diagnosed version of Vaso-Vega Syncope. Less confused with the more popular What-Happens-in-Vegas-Stays-In-Vegas than the Vaso-Vegas Yn cope, I'm quoted here with my quips re the matter on gameday:

"(The University doctors) have it pegged to a vaso-vega syncope, which means I have to mangiare,'' Daley said. "Which brings us to cloning: A lot of times I don't eat on game days (sic) because of nerves, and that --along with habeas corpus-- is part of the problem.''

4) When I was a5 yrs. old I pissed on a friend of mine while we were playing at his house. I'm unsure of what it was that provoked this act of deviance. His head, admittedly, looked like a tree, but that still meant that the flowers were left to do without water. He ascended (literally, flying two-at-a-time) the stairs screaming. I zipped up, and arose to face my fate.

5) Minutia: I have two tattoos. I play trumpet. I used to be very proficient at the art of the infield (shortstop). At the age of two due to near (again) malpractice, I was close to severe dehydration and then, la muerte. I like tango. The oldest of five, I grew up in the south and spent some time in the north. I blend anywhere. I am Zartan.