Monday, August 10, 2009

telemarketer kryptonite

Caller: (nods into phone) Hello, may I please speak with Ryan Daley?

Ryan Daley: He’s not here right now, may I take a message?

Caller: I have this as his primary cell phone number.

RD: Actually, his primary cell phone is downstairs, underwater.

Caller: Excuse me?

RD: The long path of vengeance has be severed, like a fiber optic.

Caller: Will you please tell him that Student Consolidation Services called?

RD: Bonus question: In an airless room, would a crouton matter?

Caller: Sir, Mr. Ryan, this is a serious matter.

RD: People have died while we’ve been talking.

Caller: Please, if you are not Ryan Daley, nod. This message isn't for you.

RD: Like, exploded over a river and their body parts strewn. Can you imagine being strewn?

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